Zero Tolerance PoliciesCode of Conduct

The rules that keep our community safe.

Our community guidelines are strict, uncompromising, and actively enforced by human moderators. We do not tolerate behavior that threatens the safety, privacy, or dignity of our members.

The Non-Negotiables

Zero-Tolerance Policies

Violation of these rules results in an immediate, permanent ban without warning or appeal.

Underage Access

Totsy is strictly for verified adults 18 and older. Any attempt by a minor to access the site, or any member promoting content involving minors, will result in an instant ban and reporting to relevant authorities.

Harassment & Coercion

We do not tolerate bullying, name-calling, persistent unwanted contact, or pressuring members to share photos, move off-platform, or violate their stated boundaries.

Doxxing & Outing

Sharing another member's real name, location, workplace, social media, or private photos without explicit, ongoing consent is a severe violation of community trust.

Screenshotting

Taking screenshots or screen recordings of private profiles, direct messages, or Photo Vaults to distribute elsewhere is a profound breach of privacy and results in an immediate ban.

Code of Conduct

How we communicate.

We expect every interaction to start from a place of respect and empathy. Because this community discusses niche dynamics, clear consent is doubly important.

  • Read the room (and the profile): If a profile says "slow intros only," do not open with intense roleplay. Respect stated boundaries.
  • Accept "no" gracefully: Rejection is part of dating. Getting angry, demanding explanations, or insulting someone who turns you down is not allowed.
  • Keep public spaces PG-13: Your profile bio, tags, and avatar must be safe for work. Save intimate discussions and explicit media for private, mutually consensual chats.
  • No unsolicited media: Sending explicit images without prior, clear consent is prohibited and will trigger our moderation filters.
Abstract connections representing respectful communication
Profile Integrity

Authenticity is mandatory.

Trust starts before the first message. We require every member to represent themselves and their intentions honestly to protect the community from scams and manipulation.

No Fake Personas or AI

You must use authentic representation. Using stolen photos, celebrity images, or AI-generated personas to catfish other members is strictly prohibited.

Transparent Dynamics

If you are a couple seeking a third, or have an existing partner involved in your dynamic, it must be explicitly stated in your bio upfront. No bait-and-switch tactics.

No Commercial Promotion

Totsy is a dating space, not a marketplace. Promoting premium adult content (e.g., OnlyFans), financial domination (Findom), or external paid services is treated as spam.

Respecting the Niche

No gatekeeping. No shaming.

The ABDL and CG/L communities are incredibly diverse. What works for one dynamic might not work for another. We enforce a culture of open-minded respect.

  • No Gatekeeping: Do not invalidate someone's identity or tell them they aren't a "real" little, caregiver, or switch.
  • No Kink-Shaming: Mocking or shaming consensual interests within the community umbrella is strictly forbidden.
  • Emotional Boundaries: Do not use matches as free therapists. Trauma-dumping in early messages violates the consent of the listener.
  • Pronouns & Identity: Deliberate misgendering or disrespecting someone's stated gender identity is considered harassment.
Abstract panel representing boundaries and identity
Safety Scope

Moving off-platform.

We provide tools to keep you safe on LittleNest, but we cannot protect you if you choose to move your conversation elsewhere.

01

No Pressuring

Do not demand that someone move to Discord, Telegram, or Snapchat. Allow matches to stay on Totsy as long as they feel comfortable.

02

Use Our Filters

We highly recommend keeping our Anti-Coercion filters active to block social media handles and phone numbers until trust is firmly established.

03

No Financial Scams

Asking matches for money, gift cards, or promoting premium adult content accounts (like OnlyFans) is strictly prohibited.

04

Report Bad Actors

If a match immediately tries to push you to a different app and acts suspiciously, use the One-Tap Block & Report feature.

Moderation review panel
Enforcement

We actually read your reports.

A set of guidelines is useless without a team willing to enforce them. Our moderation team is composed of humans who understand the nuances of the ABDL and CG/L communities.

When you file a report, we look at the context, the chat history, and the severity of the violation. We do not use automated ban-bots that can be weaponized by trolls. We investigate, we verify, and we remove bad actors permanently.

Read our Safety Architecture